Frustration and Failure

This isn't going to be one of my polished posts with structure and proper opening sentences for paragraphs. Because, well, because it's my blog and therefore should be a reflection of me and today I am not structured or polished. I smell bad and I'm sore and all I really want to do is go on vacation and sleep in in the sun.

Today started well, I bought two bagels (toasted with butter, please) and walked into work. Ate my bagels while checking my email, and remembered I RSVP'd to a free breakfast. So I bought breakfast even though I didn't need to, no big deal. I talked to someone important about something important to me, and he said he was going to take it to someone even more important. So, that's two wins, right? I also had (free) lunch during a meeting. I guess that makes today +3.

Then we had a rather large event, which I can't go to because our overtime has been (significantly) reduced. I rely on some really awesome student workers, but I feel so helpless because I can't help more. On top of that I worked my second job tonight. I made decent money, that's not the problem. The problem is that I work a second job. I work a second job because I need to afford things like snow tires and holidays. As I drove home, I realized how much I missed my dog. I miss coming home to her sweet face and unending love and patience. So, in my head, that's two fails. I worked over 12 hours today and I can't even keep a dog alive (I know that last one is false, but it still hurts). Soooo, that's -3.

So three wins, three fails, and now I need a shower because I stink like restaurant. I know this is a phase, I know it's just layers of frustration, it has to get better, and eventually I'll find fulfilling work. But for tonight, I'll count today as even and tomorrow is starts +1 because it's Friday.

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